Do you feel disconnected from your partner in your relationship? Or does the relationship not feel the same as it used to? Sometimes these thoughts can cloud our mind and our judgement. In the beginning of the relationship we want to get to know our partners more and we genuinely enjoy the time we spend with them. As the relationship continues sometimes we can start to live in our head and begin to take certain actions for granted.
Here are a few tips to help build intimacy and reconnect with your partner.
1. IMPROVE COMMUNICATION
Good communication is the foundation of a strong connection. Active listening involves giving your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and responding thoughtfully. It’s not just about hearing words but understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. Having regular check-ins with your partner to discuss your feelings, concerns, and goals for the relationship can be beneficial to rebuild your connection. As having these check-ins can help prevent small issues from becoming larger problems.
2. SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
Quality time is about focused, undistracted attention. On date nights, try to be creative as it doesn’t always have to be dinner and a movie. Consider taking a cooking class together, going on a hike, or visiting a museum. Having shared hobbies can be a great way to bond and reconnect! If you don’t have many activities and interests in common, be open to trying your partner’s interests or finding new activities you both enjoy.
3. SHOW PHYSICAL AFFECTION
Physical touch releases oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone”. It doesn’t always have to be sexual, simple gestures such as holding hands while walking or sitting close while watching TV can increase feelings of closeness and help rebuild connection.
4. EXPRESS APPRECIATION
In long-term relationships, it’s easy to take your partner for granted. Make a conscious effort to notice and acknowledge the things they do, both big and small. Be specific in your compliments. For instance, instead of saying “You look nice”, say “I love how that color brings out your eyes.” Gratitude can be expressed for everyday actions too, like “Thanks for always remembering to pick up my favorite snack.”
5. CREATE SHARED GOALS
Working towards common objectives can significantly strengthen your bond. These goals can be short-term (planning a vacation together) or long-term (saving for a house). When setting relationship goals, be specific and measurable. For example, instead of “spending more time together,” try to “have a date night every Friday.” Regularly check in on your progress and celebrate your achievements together.
By Kaitlynn Russell, Clinic Assistant at ICC
